It always works like that

 An amazing day. Nothing so great but everything that made my heart happy and the small things flow. 

Then boom. A text. Your brother who is battling cancer just got back from doc. His words "its progressing but it's ok" the Doctor. "It's excelerating but not exploding". 

Never once have I visited him in all the states he's lived in. He always visits me. My goal the last year was to be able to visit him at his home before. But how do you do that with no fucking income? No support? I'm so angry. I've tried everything I can think of in this world to make money. All failures. Fucking Failures. And if that's not bad enough because I have no idea what apparently is the right and wrong way to go to the doctor when you are filing for disability. ? Seriously? But ya, I was the last to know apparently. Started on such a high and feels like such a low.

Idk how. I'm getting there. I have to. I've never had a brother die yet. I don't want to. But dammit, I'll be there. I have to be.